Social Etiquette

Throughout life you will find yourself in a variety of social situations which require you to act in accordance with certain standards of appropriate behavior. Your actions in these settings and other professional and personal correspondence will establish for others the impression and image they have of you as a gentleman and a leader.

Also, an understanding of the issues and situations you may encounter such as confrontation, fine dining, or other gentlemanly conduct will prepare you for what is to come in future Areas of Mastery. Here you will also learn one of the most valuable skills you will ever be able master - the ability to properly confront another person to produce a positive outcome. Fortunately, the Fraternity provides you with the perfect setting where you can practice and perfect this skill.

It is this Area of Mastery where the Fraternity can serve its most fundamental purpose. As a "social" organization we are charged with the task of training our members to behave properly in society, as gentlemen, scholars and citizens. The skills learned in this area will give our members the tools to do just that. The skills you will acquire through this Area of Mastery are:

• Etiquette Proficiency
• Proper Written Communication
• Confrontation and Conflict Management

To achieve mastery over this area, complete the following four activities. Below each activity you are provided with sample options that you may utilize to fulfill the activity. Remember, these are only sample options, you may choose to come up with your own options that may better suit you or your chapter's needs. Follow up your accomplishments in your Learning Journal. Finally, once you have completed all activities within this Area of Mastery, finish the area by answering the concluding Critical Reflection questions within your Learning Journal.

Discover and review resources concerning proper etiquette and social graces.

• Complete and discuss the Professional Etiquette and Social Skills Quiz, with members of the chapter. Then summarize how you and the other members did. Answer the following questions in your Learning Journal: 1) Why is it important to have this knowledge? 2) How can you use it in the future?
• Participate in a campus or community-sponsored workshop on dating etiquette. Take some notes on the workshop and include any specifics you found interesting. You may also want to look up some resources on the topic. Check out the library or the local bookstore to see what you can find. Some suggestions are: A Guy's Guide to Dating by Brendan Baber and Eric Spitznagel or Dating for Dummies by Joy Browne.
• Take a wine-tasting class and learn the proper way to order wine with a meal or attend a wine tasting session that teaches this skill. You may also wish to take a course on classical music appreciation or attend a classical orchestra performance. Make sure to invite other members of the chapter to participate in the event and bring back what you experienced to your next chapter meeting.

Practice and apply appropriate etiquette skills in a social setting.

• Attend and/or organize a workshop and/or special meal on etiquette and social skills. Possible presenters for such a program include house mothers, representatives from your career planning office, alumni, and some faculty or community leaders. Books by Emily Post and Letitia Baldridge can provide you with information to be included in a workshop, should you decide to organize your own. Summarize what you have learned and anything you found of interest in your Learning Journal.
• Invite members of a sorority or other campus organization (or alumni/alumnae) to a wine and cheese reception or formal banquet with a speaker addressing formal event etiquette. You may wish to include a hands-on workshop/luncheon where the speaker walks through the proper placement of silverware, glasses, etc. Learn how to pass the rolls, salt and pepper, etc.
• Attend and participate in a reception that is held in a more formal setting. Apply the information learned in the etiquette workshop at this event. Appropriate events would include: campus leadership receptions, Founders' Day receptions, etc. Write down the details of the event and what specific skills you used.

Learn to communicate appropriately in writing.

• Read an article, attend a workshop; or enroll in a class about effective professional writing and correspondence. Then write a few sample letters and have them critiqued.
• Review appropriate standards for social and business correspondence and write one business letter and one thank-you note as a part of your chapter or other student organization involvement.
• Attend a program or invite a speaker to discuss contemporary communication etiquette. Cover the topics of thank-you notes business letters, e-mail, and fax communications. Many business or communication instructors could facilitate this program. Be sure to take notes on any specifics of the program.

Understand your roles and responsibilities during proper confrontation.

• Lead or participate in a workshop on confrontation and/or conflict management. Your campus may offer such programs through the student activities office or the counseling center. A community resource might be a local organization that focuses on mediation services. Social sciences or communications faculty could also be likely presenters. A confrontation workshop model and video from the NIC Challenges & Choices program, such as Confrontation 101, can be obtained from the Delta Chi Headquarters or probably from your campus Greek advisor. Take notes on the workshop and record how the information you received is applicable to your own life and the fraternity.
• Read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Write a report on what you learned from this book and how it applies to your life and the fraternity.
• Complete the Conflict Management Skills Evaluation form and set personal goals for developing your confrontation and conflict management skills. Then, using the information you learned from the exercise, resolve an issue you might have with a brother, a friend, a relative, or an organization by applying the appropriate confrontation and/or conflict management techniques. Record all of the steps you take in your Learning Journal.
• Using a legal pad, map out a recent argument you had with someone. Decide what you could have done differently and reassess how you approached the conflict. Then rewrite how you would rather have had the argument progress, changing only your side of the dialogue. Use this technique to evaluate future confrontation for yourself to see how you have improved.