Mentoring

"Acquire new knowledge whilst thinking over the old, and you may become a teacher of others" - Confucius

The tradition of mentoring is as old as the idea of teaching itself. The term "mentor" comes from the story of Odysseus. When he left home to begin his adventure, Odysseus entrusted the care of his son Telemachus to his good friend - Mentor. Since then, the relationship between mentor and mentoree has been one of trust, respect and growth. If you have decided to take on the role of Big Brother, you have now been entrusted with one of Delta Chi's newest members, and have taken up the mantle of mentorship. You have been given the responsibility to facilitate your Little Brother's growth and development by providing him with a role model to follow and the support to help him reach his goals. So how do you do this?

There is no magic formula that can answer this question easily. Very often a mentor will be able to share the unwritten rules and realities of the way things are decided in your chapter, saving the new member the unnecessary time and pain involved in figuring it out as he goes. The success of members who go on to be successful always accomplish more with the help of a mentor. By forming this relationship during The KEY, members will not only be incorporating new information into their life, they will be motivated and held accountable by their Big Brother. As this relationship grows, so will its effectiveness, because you will be creating a plan that is customized to the particular needs of your goals, not just the particular needs of the material in the program or the chapter.

When it all comes down to it, the mentoring relationship does not require a tremendous amount of time or any sort of expertise. Your simple willingness to participate in another's life will carry the relationship a long way. The key characteristics of a quality mentoring relationship include friendship, inspiring, encouraging, and trusting. With these concepts in mind, as long as the mentor serves as a role model to the mentoree and concerns himself with the success of the mentoree, much of the rest will take care of itself.

Although The KEY program is a self-monitored, self-driven experience, it is important to introduce a stable element into the member's progression to maintain a level of motivation and encouragement. This is where a member's Big Brother comes in. As a Big Brother the responsibility of the younger member's progression is ultimately yours. Your personal progression through the latter stages of the program is determined on a mastery of your mentoring abilities.

Success as a Big Brother is determined by one thing- a good relationship with your Little Brother. Have you earned his respect and trust? Does he feel comfortable talking to you? Do you show interest in his progression through school and The KEY? There is no magic formula to being a good Big Brother. There is not a set amount of time which you need to spend with your Little Brother. Success is gauged on the quality of the relationship which both of you form and your ability to encourage, inspire, and serve as a positive role model.

If you are having problems developing this interpersonal relationship, do not be afraid to ask other men in your chapter for advice. It may be possible that the Little Brother/Big Brother pairing that has come about is not necessarily the best possible one. Just remember why the Big Brother exists in the first place:

• To give a man the chance to be a positive influence on another's life.
• To give to another what has been given to you.
• To give yourself the knowledge that you have helped someone to develop and grow:
• To make a new and lifelong friend.

Lastly, remember mentoring is a two-way street. Just as in any relationship, the Big Brother and the Little Brother have responsibilities to fulfill. It is best to sit down with your Little Brother early on and decide what these responsibilities will be. Use the Big Brother/Little Brother Qualifications and Responsibilities Guideline as a starting off point.